America, this is why you're fat v1

And not just fat, stupid. Things like this...I just do not understand. This is the first In-N-Out Burger to open in Texas. Yea, to be fair, Texas is still considered one of the fattest states in the nation, but this is ridiculous. Fat and stupid. Just watch the damn video:

I don't know when standing in lines became cool. Do you people have nothing better to do? Yea, In-N-Out has a cult following, they have a secret menu, and you can order a 12x12 Animal Style that just dares the grim reaper to visit your fat face. But this is going too far. The food is not THAT good to potentially wait hours for. When you wonder why your employer decides to hand you an old-fashioned pink slip and you wonder why...THIS IS WHY.

But you see it all over the place. When Apple launches a new iProduct, lines form a week-plus in advance in bigger cities. Storms? Jobs? The use of a bathroom with real working plumbing? No, we'll just wait in the line and get our iThing first before the rest of you. Remember when teachers had to force you to line up and all you wanted to do was break away from a tradition that is customary for ANTS? Now we willingly stand in line for hours, even days, to give somebody our hard-earned cash. While we're at it - I understand that the Apple craze has hit the rest of the globe...that's a post I'll get on my soapbox about next time when I feel like it. Dammit, now I want In-N-Out, I wonder if that line from Texas has reached Chicago yet...

Super Rant Time - Facebook Edition

Facebook is a pretty cool thing. Share pictures, share funny/cool/inspiring links and share best wishes and good feelings with friends and loved ones. The Social Network. All good things. But all too often, the sharing goes far...WAY too far.

The Constant Updater

Everyone has at least 8 of these people in their Friends list. These are the people that constantly make new status updates so that all you see when you log in is their giant disproportionate head getting in the way of the stuff you might actually care about. Public Service Announcement: your life is not interesting to anyone. Based on the status updates about EVERYTHING that happens in your life, I have come to the conclusion that your life sucks. Living your life would be a form of torture that should be banned in all but the worst of sovereign nations. I hate that you subject me to this hell. I hate you. Do us all a favor and  follow these simple directions:

Congratulations. You have done mankind a great service.

Things white people like to eat...Part I

So, I grew up all asian-style in my Korean family, but I was always surrounded by the white folk. Nothing wrong with that. But I have noticed significant differences between myself as a Korean-American and you fine caucasian peeps, namely around food. The following is a true representation of what white people like to eat based on my fair and unbiased observations:

Japanese/Sushi

1. Edamame is always the first word thrown out when everyone goes to a sushi place and likely the ONLY appetizer that is suggested. White people have an obsession with this stuff, and I have yet to uncover the reason why it's so popular. They're just steamed soybeans inside of their little green pod homes people, nothing to see (or taste) here. Side note: be careful to keep track of the "new" bowl and the "refuse" bowl when it comes to edamame. You don't want to make the mistake my friend once made by chewing on my recently discarded shells. 
2. "I love sushi!" Innocent enough. Then you go and order California rolls. I mean, it definitely resembles maki. But let's be honest, it's not real sushi. Same thing goes for Philly rolls, spicy tuna rolls, and pretty much any roll on the menu. I need to stop here before I go on a long rant...does Blogger have a character limit?   
3. Teriyaki...anything. Teriyaki sauce automatically makes anything you're eating exotic and super Japanese, AMIRITE?

Rice, how do you cook it?

The below conversation was a series of text messages I had with a friend, whom will remain nameless so that they actually stay friends with me. To be fair, they do misleadingly call it steamed rice:

Friend: Random q-do u know how long rice takes in a rice cooker? We've had brown rice in there for an hour almost

Me: Are you sure its on? It should only take 20-30 min depending on how much and the rice cooker

Friend: Oh yeah so the water goes on bottom and rice on top right so steam cooks it

Me: Wait, is the rice not IN the water?

Friend: Right its on top

Friend: Like there's 2 layers

Friend: 1 cup rice, 2 cups H20

Me: The rice needs to be in the water, I'm assuming there is like a pot thing that the water is in, and like a grate or something on top? You need to put the rice in the water and you don't need the grate

Me: Please send me a picture of this

Friend: Are the rice and water not supposed to be separated?

Me: No, no wonder nothing has happened in an hour lol. You must be hungry

Friend: Hahaha what's the grate for then

Me: Grate is for veggies and other things that need steaming

Friend: Hahahah

Friend: Oh well that just throws ppl off

To avoid any confusion to my dear followers, this is the proper way to cook rice. It came from my giant 40lb bag of asian rice so it's legit:

Losing weight is not hard

This is not some secret science or art that requires years of study and devotion in order to be a black belt ninja in weight loss. It's very simple - you eat less, you move around a little more, and BOOM, weight loss. Not a complicated subject, and it amazes me how much people can spend on super-awesome-lose-weight-fast! diet scams. America, we love shortcuts!

I've lost some weight over the years, and people always asked me how I did it. Well, it's pretty simple. You stop eating like crap all the time, you eat less, and maybe you pick up your feet and run further than your refrigerator. Eventually, you lose weight. "But I've tried EVERYTHING to lose weight and I can't do it!" you say as you jam another french fry down your gullet? Obviously, no, no you have not.

So in case the above wasn't clear enough, here's a handy guide to losing weight, PURPLE IS A FLAVOR style:

Purple is a flavor first, color second...

Disagree? Let's figure this out - when someone asks you what flavor of Kool-Aid or jelly bean you like the best, what do you say? "I like purple the best." CORRECT ANSWER. Maybe some other flavor (red will suffice, or if we're talking about Starburst, you can't go wrong with pink), but you get the point. If you say something like "strawberry", "grape" or god forbid, "tropical mango punch", then you're a pretentious know-it-all bastard that I don't want to be friends with. Purple is a flavor, end of discussion.

Ignore the shitty drink and concentrate on the purple stuff. Hell yea.