Rice, how do you cook it?

The below conversation was a series of text messages I had with a friend, whom will remain nameless so that they actually stay friends with me. To be fair, they do misleadingly call it steamed rice:

Friend: Random q-do u know how long rice takes in a rice cooker? We've had brown rice in there for an hour almost

Me: Are you sure its on? It should only take 20-30 min depending on how much and the rice cooker

Friend: Oh yeah so the water goes on bottom and rice on top right so steam cooks it

Me: Wait, is the rice not IN the water?

Friend: Right its on top

Friend: Like there's 2 layers

Friend: 1 cup rice, 2 cups H20

Me: The rice needs to be in the water, I'm assuming there is like a pot thing that the water is in, and like a grate or something on top? You need to put the rice in the water and you don't need the grate

Me: Please send me a picture of this

Friend: Are the rice and water not supposed to be separated?

Me: No, no wonder nothing has happened in an hour lol. You must be hungry

Friend: Hahaha what's the grate for then

Me: Grate is for veggies and other things that need steaming

Friend: Hahahah

Friend: Oh well that just throws ppl off

To avoid any confusion to my dear followers, this is the proper way to cook rice. It came from my giant 40lb bag of asian rice so it's legit:

Losing weight is not hard

This is not some secret science or art that requires years of study and devotion in order to be a black belt ninja in weight loss. It's very simple - you eat less, you move around a little more, and BOOM, weight loss. Not a complicated subject, and it amazes me how much people can spend on super-awesome-lose-weight-fast! diet scams. America, we love shortcuts!

I've lost some weight over the years, and people always asked me how I did it. Well, it's pretty simple. You stop eating like crap all the time, you eat less, and maybe you pick up your feet and run further than your refrigerator. Eventually, you lose weight. "But I've tried EVERYTHING to lose weight and I can't do it!" you say as you jam another french fry down your gullet? Obviously, no, no you have not.

So in case the above wasn't clear enough, here's a handy guide to losing weight, PURPLE IS A FLAVOR style: