Things white people like to eat...Part I

So, I grew up all asian-style in my Korean family, but I was always surrounded by the white folk. Nothing wrong with that. But I have noticed significant differences between myself as a Korean-American and you fine caucasian peeps, namely around food. The following is a true representation of what white people like to eat based on my fair and unbiased observations:

Japanese/Sushi

1. Edamame is always the first word thrown out when everyone goes to a sushi place and likely the ONLY appetizer that is suggested. White people have an obsession with this stuff, and I have yet to uncover the reason why it's so popular. They're just steamed soybeans inside of their little green pod homes people, nothing to see (or taste) here. Side note: be careful to keep track of the "new" bowl and the "refuse" bowl when it comes to edamame. You don't want to make the mistake my friend once made by chewing on my recently discarded shells. 
2. "I love sushi!" Innocent enough. Then you go and order California rolls. I mean, it definitely resembles maki. But let's be honest, it's not real sushi. Same thing goes for Philly rolls, spicy tuna rolls, and pretty much any roll on the menu. I need to stop here before I go on a long rant...does Blogger have a character limit?   
3. Teriyaki...anything. Teriyaki sauce automatically makes anything you're eating exotic and super Japanese, AMIRITE?

Chinese Food

It's always one of three things: sweet and sour chicken, general tao's chicken, or sesame chicken.

"I'll have the General Tay..ow...General Ta-oouh...F*%k it, I'll just have the sweet and sour chicken."

Bacon

OK, I really have nothing bad to say about bacon. Next.

Pepperoni Pizza


Sometimes I wonder if pizza places in certain parts of the country have only two toppings for their pizzas - cheese and pepperoni. "What do you want on the pizza?" I'm usually asked when my friends and I go out for pizza. Spinach, mushrooms and jalapenos? BLANK STARES. Pepperoni it is then.

"Yea hi, I'd like to order a large supreme pizza...hold the onions, peppers,  mushrooms, olives...and add a shitload of pepperoni instead. Thanks chief."

Uncle Ben's Rice


THIS IS NOT RICE. THIS IS BARELY FOOD. THIS IS A DISGRACE TO RICE EVERYWHERE.  How this brand became so popular in American households is beyond me. It is my mission to educate people everywhere about the sham that is Uncle Ben. Shame Ben, shame. Whose uncle is he anyways?

Cookie Exchange Parties


Yea, I know, you can't really EAT a party, but it involves food so it belongs here. My blog, my rules. Anyways, I was introduced to the concept of cookie exchange parties by my white friend's white fiance. What the hell is a cookie exchange party? Apparently it's when a bunch of women get together to swap cookies and their associated recipes. I like cookies so I'm ok with this.

What I imagine cookie exchange parties to look like.